The Kind of Friendship That Doesn’t Flinch

Lessons in friendship from a Chick-fil-A playground.

My best friend Katie and I have been close since we were 15. So when we both found out we were pregnant with our firsts, just one month apart, it felt like we’d hit the jackpot.

Two best friends, two baby boys, and yet another chapter we got to take on together.

Okay, if I’m honest, our first reaction was more like, “What the f are we going to do with boys?!” But that quickly turned into excitement and big dreams: matching onesies, backyard adventures and two little sidekicks.

Being one month behind Katie in pregnancy was the ultimate luxury. I could text her with every “Is this normal?” question, every weird twinge and irrational fear, and she always had an answer.

Of course, my journey took a little different turn after Parker’s ultrasound appointment. But Katie was there through it all.

---

In those early days, one of my quiet fears was how Parker’s limb difference might affect their friendship.
I’m not sure why I just typed “quiet” because I very clearly remember sobbing on the couch, asking her these questions:

Would Grey feel obligated to protect him?
Would it feel like too much?
Would he even want to be Parker’s friend?

I feel a little sad for that girl, but it also makes me laugh now knowing the boys’ friendship today.

---

Both boys are 3.5 now, and thanks to their mamas, they’re pretty much inseparable. They’re in the same class at school, see each other most weekends, and can usually be found tearing up the Chick-fil-A playground like it’s their personal kingdom.

A few months ago, Katie and I discovered the brilliance of letting them run wild while we sit at a table catching up. (lol to old me, who swore I’d never let my kids touch those germ-infested playgrounds.)

One day, we were sitting there, probably talking about something ridiculous one of our husbands did 🤭, but as always, I had one eye on Parker.
As much as I want to relax, I’m always on guard for the inevitable questions or stares.

Parker and Grey were racing around when another little boy started following them. I saw him pointing and told Katie to hold her thought.

I’m trying to find the balance, letting Parker handle these moments on his own, while also wanting to protect him.
This kid kept pointing, asking, “What’s that?!”
Parker just looked down at his arm, not quite sure how to respond.

Before he could say anything, or I could intervene, Grey stepped in.
“That’s just his nubby,” he said, a little annoyed.
Then he grabbed Parker’s hand and pulled him away, saying, “Come on, Parker!”

Immediate tears. My tears. Happy tears. No tears from Parker as he was off with grey to conquer the slide again.

Katie and I always joke that Grey is Parker’s bodyguard, mostly because he’s about twice his size, but in that moment, it felt like so much more.

Grey didn’t hesitate.
He didn’t overthink it.
To him, it was just Parker’s nubby, no explanation needed.

And why waste a minute of playtime explaining something that doesn’t really matter anyway?

---

Bonus story:

A few weeks later, we were back at the same Chick-fil-A when an older boy started picking on Grey, pulling on the neckline of his shirt.
I saw what was going down, so I got up to help, but by the time I got there, my sweet, usually soft-spoken & gentle son had already come charging across the playground and took a swing at the big kid.

Say what you want on what this means about my parenting, but I have never been prouder.

---

Last week their pre-school teacher pulled me aside to let me know that when they argue at school she lets them work it out themselves because they “fight and love like brothers”. It made me giggle because it’s clear that Parker and Grey have inherited one very important trait from their moms:
You don’t let anyone mess with your best friend.
Only you get that honor. 😝

Watching these two boys grow up together has been the sweetest reminder that there’s so much more to this story than fear or difference.

There’s laughter, there’s loyalty, and there’s a friendship that doesn’t flinch, no matter what.

With love,
Chelsea